When Indirect Communication is the best Choice

Suppose you wanted someone to know that you really appreciated the work they did. Shouldn’t you just go tell them? Well, that could be OK, I suppose, but it would really be gratifying to that person if you told Other People instead; people who are likely to get the message back to the individual.

Just imagine:
Joe is in the company cafeteria when a colleague says to him, “I heard your boss talking about your report this morning at the marketing meeting. He used your outline to show how the product roll-out would look. Way to go, fella!”

Of course, the boss could have just told you it was a good report, but I don’t think it would have had near the impact as knowing it had been bruited about the office.

• It wasn’t just a generalized ‘atta boy!’ of “feel-good” encouragement
• It wasn’t just a softly spoken private recognition between the two of you

It was out front, public declaration of your value. Just knowing that others heard it without it coming from you or being directed at you in front of others validates the integrity of the praise.

People are talking! Ain’t it sweet!?

Try it out yourself. Praise someone behind their back and see what happens. We are talking about backward gossip, aren’t we? I wish ‘pissog’ made a prettier word.

If you want to learn more about how Dr. Fleming can help you improve your communication skills, please call her at telephone 415.391.9179 or send her an email at [email protected]

Carol Fleming, Ph.D., is the author of “It’s the Way You Say It: Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear”. A comprehensive guide to vocal development and improvement of communication skills. To get your own copy, go to http://amzn.to/ItsTheWayYouSayIt