You are here: Home / Archives for talking

The Ancient Technology of Talking - Story from my friend in Egypt

February 12, 2011 by Admin · Leave a Comment 

I received an email from Egypt this Thursday from my old friend Essam; he got me thinking about the robust and timeless importance of face-to-face conversation. He reported:

“One of the biggest blunders committed so far by the Egyptian regime in its current crisis was the decision to shut down the Internet service and Mobile service all over the country on Thursday night before the ‘Friday of Anger’. By doing this, the smart decision makers thought they would isolate the demonstrators and prevent them from communicating with each other, thus reducing the number of people who would show up on Friday at the el-Tahrir square and elsewhere in the country. Based on this naïve assumption, the former minister of the interior, el-Adly, expected a maximum of two thousand demonstrators

When people were cut off from the rest of the world on Thursday night they started going out to the streets to find out what was going on, they started searching for their friends and relatives to inquire about their well being. They talked to each other face to face and agreed to be there all day on Friday. Suddenly tens of thousands showed up on Friday, instead of the two thousand the brutal el-Adly was prepared for.”

When someone pulls the plug on our electronic devices, we can always use the ancient technology of talking to each other. It is the part of the Basic Guarantee that comes with being human. (Even with the plug in, the Egyptian people have only a 40% literacy rate.) For this to truly be the Egyptian People’s revolution, they all must be able to speak out together.

In effect, he gave them their voice.

Carol Fleming, Ph.D., is the author of “It’s the Way You Say It”! Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear. A comprehensive guide to vocal development and improvement of communication skills. For people who want to make their speaking more impressive and find their voice. She can be contacted at telephone 415.391.9179 or send her an email at [email protected]

Filed under Business Communication, Social Communication · Tagged with , , , ,

Talk to people to be part of the team

July 16, 2010 by Admin · Leave a Comment 

I once had a speech client who admitted that he was a social isolate. This was revealed at the same time that he confessed that he never got the job advancement (despite having a Ph.D. from a prestigious university), was never included socially and certainly never got a girl. He spent much time telling me how others ignored him (and probably plotted against him!).

What was finally revealed was that:

  • He made absolutely no effort to talk to anybody himself.
  • He lived in his own bubble of silence.
  • He did not understand that this very behavior was a big ‘Go away’ to other people and that he would be perceived as rude.
  • He did not know that it was in his power and in his best self-interest to create the possibility of relationship with others.

His first homework assignment: to offer a ‘hello’ to someone every day. You laugh. But you must start somewhere. He was to actually make eye-contact with someone on the elevator and offer some verbal greeting, just one human being acknowledging another.

You would think I had asked him to have open-heart surgery. Well, I guess, in a way, I did.

How about you? How much of an effort do you make to connect in real time with real face-to-face people? And I am talking about everybody from the custodian to the CEO of your organization. Much good comes from being recognized as an amiable person.

Of course, you know that it is nice to talk to everybody. I’m not talking about ‘nice’ today; I’m talking bout self-interest.

  • It is in your self-interest to be polite.
  • To be polite is to offer people both warmth and respect. At the same time.
  • You must acknowledge the other person through your eyes and voice, recognizing their existence but not intruding into their mental and physical space. You do not go for a handshake but you do say, “hello”. We’re talking baby steps here.
  • As Steinbeck said, “Be the inferior of no man, nor of any man be the superior. Remember that every man is a variation of yourself.”

The respect you offer to others will be returned to you.

……………………………..
If you want to learn more about how Dr. Fleming can help you improve your communication skills, please call her at telephone 415.391.9179 or send her an email at [email protected]

Carol Fleming, Ph.D., is the author of “It’s the Way You Say It”! Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear. A comprehensive guide to vocal development and improvement of communication skills.

Filed under Social Communication · Tagged with , , , , , ,