How I Listen to The Sound of Your Voice
August 9, 2011 by Admin · Leave a Comment
What is the impression you make by the way you speak? I ask myself that when you sit across the table from me in my office. You have come to gain some understanding of your communication patterns and I bring my professional background and years of experience to help you do just that.
When I am first meeting a client, I will consciously drop my awareness from concentrating just on their words and their intended message in order to be maximally receptive to more dimensions of their communication.
As you come in the door, I try to become a ‘blank slate’ on which you write your presence. I try, knowing I will never be completely neutral, but I will try to observe with the kindest part of my self. If there is something that keeps nagging at me, I assume it will catch the attention of others and distract from the communication relationship. I will have to address the topic. What I observe are all the things that you can see in other people, what the person is trying to see in the mirror, and what they don’t know they are doing when they talk. So I see the nervous gestures, the unconscious habits.
And I must listen. I invite my intuition, I listen to the words with my mind and I hear the message with my heart. I give undivided attention to you. This is total and deliberate listening that lets you be heard in the deepest possible way. What I have received and accepted, I can reflect back to you (as best I can), so you, too, can listen to your whole self- mind, body, soul and heart. You see, there is more to your speaking than your voice and articulation! Perhaps I can help you see – and hear- more of you.
It is likely that you are thinking that there are tics and twitches, uhms and ‘likes’ to be discovers. Yes, there is always that. But it is not uncommon for a person to observe, “I’m a lot better than I thought I was”, after hearing the recording I have made of our interview.
Whatever we find as we talk together, it is sure to bring you closer to yourself; to hear yourself outside your own head, and to see yourself beyond the mirror. It is a singular experience for both of us as you adventure beyond your confines and I lose myself in you.
Getting to Know the Sound of Your Voice
August 4, 2011 by Admin · Leave a Comment
The Sound of Your Voice
To listen to the blog posting in Audio, please click here —- Getting to Know The Sound of Your Voice
Do you want to know the impression you make by the way you speak?
I can help you do it in a way that won’t cost you a dime.
But, do I believe you will actually do this? No. So prove me wrong!
What to do:
Create a time for you and few (same sex) friends to get together around a good recording device, sit equidistant from the microphone, hit ‘record’….now talk to each other. Let’s say you chat about this or that for 20 minutes. Turn it off, rewind, take a lunch break, then sit down and listen.
What you might listen for:
- Who is doing the most talking?
- Who does the most interrupting?
- Who talks too softly to be heard?
- How low or high is your voice relative to the other people in the group?
- Can you understand yourself as easily as you do others?
- Do you like the sound of your laughter or are you embarrassed to hear that you sound like a Canadian goose?
- Do you hear something in your speech that you don’t like, like ‘like’?
- Does your voice sound flat as a board or should you consider opera?
And so on. Don’t worry; you’ll find much to notice. This may be a painful experience, OR you may well find much that you are pleased with.
I encourage your courage. This exercise allows you to know how you really interact with other people, more than I could possibly predict from a private interview. Consider how valuable this could be for you.
My offer: Do this exercise and write a short report on your communication behavior as you observed it on the recording. Send your report to me. (I can’t wait to read it!) I will write a blog about your findings. You can stay anonymous in the blog posting, should that be your choice. And I will send you a copy of my book, It’s the Way You Say It: Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear. Deal? I look forward to hearing from you.
The Secret of a Good Speech
July 29, 2011 by Admin · Leave a Comment
I received this thank you note from a client:
Dear Carol, Lovely accolades after my speech and I did want to send you a thank you note! To be able to present my thoughts in a way that pleased me was a very happy moment. Not a word was shared about the how and why of it, but you and I know! Sending best thoughts and warmest thanks to you! xxx ————————————
Of course it is always nice to get thank you notes. But did you get the part that my work with her was going to be our little secret? Some clients call me their ‘secret weapon’ and tell me that they don’t want to share how they got so good with others. The business woman in me regrets this lack of acknowledgement and referral, of course. But the therapist side understands their need to own the effective speaking as their own talent and achievement.
Which leads me to ask how many skilled presentations, powerful speeches and touching comments you have heard and just assumed were the result of that speaker’s natural abilities and efforts? Just talented, right? · What if you found out that they floundered and stuttered at the beginning just like you do? That they had been paralyzed with stage fright? ·
What if you knew that many of these great speakers sought professional help, received thoughtful guidance, worked very hard, and rehearsed? You might ask these speakers if they had a ‘secret weapon” in preparing their remarks. Or if they might be able to recommend a speaking coach so you can learn to be as good as they were. Be interesting?
Please don’t let your fear of public speaking stop you. Get help like many others do. Dr. Fleming can be contacted at telephone number 415.391 9179 or [email protected]
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"It's The Way You Say It"
is the first comprehensive guide for speech and voice improvement. Click here to purchase Dr. Fleming's book from Amazon. Network With Me
