The Ancient Technology of Talking - Story from my friend in Egypt

February 12, 2011 by Admin · Leave a Comment 

I received an email from Egypt this Thursday from my old friend Essam; he got me thinking about the robust and timeless importance of face-to-face conversation. He reported:

“One of the biggest blunders committed so far by the Egyptian regime in its current crisis was the decision to shut down the Internet service and Mobile service all over the country on Thursday night before the ‘Friday of Anger’. By doing this, the smart decision makers thought they would isolate the demonstrators and prevent them from communicating with each other, thus reducing the number of people who would show up on Friday at the el-Tahrir square and elsewhere in the country. Based on this naïve assumption, the former minister of the interior, el-Adly, expected a maximum of two thousand demonstrators

When people were cut off from the rest of the world on Thursday night they started going out to the streets to find out what was going on, they started searching for their friends and relatives to inquire about their well being. They talked to each other face to face and agreed to be there all day on Friday. Suddenly tens of thousands showed up on Friday, instead of the two thousand the brutal el-Adly was prepared for.”

When someone pulls the plug on our electronic devices, we can always use the ancient technology of talking to each other. It is the part of the Basic Guarantee that comes with being human. (Even with the plug in, the Egyptian people have only a 40% literacy rate.) For this to truly be the Egyptian People’s revolution, they all must be able to speak out together.

In effect, he gave them their voice.

Carol Fleming, Ph.D., is the author of “It’s the Way You Say It”! Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear. A comprehensive guide to vocal development and improvement of communication skills. For people who want to make their speaking more impressive and find their voice. She can be contacted at telephone 415.391.9179 or send her an email at [email protected]

When Indirect Communication is the best Choice

September 27, 2010 by Admin · Leave a Comment 

Suppose you wanted someone to know that you really appreciated the work they did. Shouldn’t you just go tell them? Well, that could be OK, I suppose, but it would really be gratifying to that person if you told Other People instead; people who are likely to get the message back to the individual.

Just imagine:
Joe is in the company cafeteria when a colleague says to him, “I heard your boss talking about your report this morning at the marketing meeting. He used your outline to show how the product roll-out would look. Way to go, fella!”

Of course, the boss could have just told you it was a good report, but I don’t think it would have had near the impact as knowing it had been bruited about the office.

  • It wasn’t just a generalized ‘atta boy!’ of “feel-good” encouragement
  • It wasn’t just a softly spoken private recognition between the two of you

It was out front, public declaration of your value. Just knowing that others heard it without it coming from you or being directed at you in front of others validates the integrity of the praise.

People are talking! Ain’t it sweet!?

Try it out yourself. Praise someone behind their back and see what happens. We are talking about backward gossip, aren’t we? I wish ‘pissog’ made a prettier word.

If you want to learn more about how Dr. Fleming can help you improve your communication skills, please call her at telephone 415.391.9179 or send her an email at [email protected]

Carol Fleming, Ph.D., is the author of “It’s the Way You Say It: Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear”. A comprehensive guide to vocal development and improvement of communication skills. To get your own copy, go to http://amzn.to/ItsTheWayYouSayIt

Projecting Self-Confidence in Job Interviews

July 9, 2010 by Admin · Leave a Comment 

You have credentials, you have experience, you have references, BUT you don’t speak with authority and assurance. You hold your voice in the back of your throat. Your face shows little movement and expressiveness when you talk. You may be aware of some tension in your throat. It’s as if you are holding your cards close to your chest, fearful that someone will see what you’ve got.

Self confidence is immediately perceived to the extent that you energize your articulation and let your speaking be clearly visible on your face. Now is not the time to mumble! By placing your speaking energy in the front of your face, you are illustrating your confidence in your talents, achievements and reputation.

Does this apply to you? You start your improvement by trying to honestly answer this question. You must go outside of yourself to get the answer. (We always think we are speaking clearly!) Here are two ways of finding out if this is your problem.

1. Do people frequently ask you to repeat yourself? If so, they are telling you that they are not getting enough information through their ears or their eyes to be confident that they have gotten your message.

While it is true that communication can be hindered by noise in the environment, a hearing loss in your companion, etc., the energy that you invest in your articulation can overcome those obstacles.

2. Observe yourself in a videoed conversation. Watch your facial movement. Compare it to the way other people speak. You might think of some television newscasters or hosts. Take your time and give yourself a chance – don’t just glance and try to make a judgment.

It is also true that a restricted speaking style might just appear when you are self-conscious during an interview. You can try to recreate those circumstances. When I see a client for the first time and video our interview, we pretty much create the ‘under-the-magnifying-glass’ experience intentionally so I can see what you actually do when you are uncertain. (If we cannot observe the behavior we cannot change it.)

You want to let your commitment show on your face to lend credibility to what you say. Do the best you can to make a thoughtful appraisal of your speaking behavior.
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If you want to learn more about how Dr. Fleming can help you improve your communication skills, please call her at telephone 415.391.9179 or send her an email at [email protected]

Carol Fleming, Ph.D., is the author of “It’s the Way You Say It”! Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear. A comprehensive guide to vocal development and improvement of communication skills.

Speak! Four good reasons why you should give a speech

June 22, 2010 by Admin · Leave a Comment 

  1. You find out what you are thinking/feeling when you have to find the words to express them. There are some people who really need to talk to discover what they are thinking. (Perhaps this is you; I know it is me). Sit in silence and your impressions are mush; vague, contradictory. Open your mouth and see what comes out!
  2. When you imagine your listeners, you must reconsider your words and sentences so that they are appropriate for the audience. What vocabulary level is best? Where should you begin? Your inner language becomes shaped for communication (to make common) with the listener in mind.
  3. Speak out and have a presence, be real, be a participant. If you think it doesn’t matter if you speak, what do you think others will think? They will likely not miss you. Find your 2 cents and put it in. What matters is that you have spoken up and made your presence felt. It reveals some self respect.
  4. You can make things happen, you can influence the course of events, you can prevent dreadful decisions from being made. Just by speaking out. Don’t be the bump on the log, be the speaker on the orange crate. People need leaders and spokesmen. Why not you? Speak!

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If you want to learn more about how Dr. Fleming can help you improve your communication skills, please call her at telephone 415.391.9179 or send her an email at [email protected]

Carol Fleming, Ph.D., is the author of “It’s the Way You Say It”! Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear. A comprehensive guide to vocal development and improvement of communication skills.