When Indirect Communication is the best Choice
September 27, 2010 by Admin · Leave a Comment
Suppose you wanted someone to know that you really appreciated the work they did. Shouldn’t you just go tell them? Well, that could be OK, I suppose, but it would really be gratifying to that person if you told Other People instead; people who are likely to get the message back to the individual.
Just imagine:
Joe is in the company cafeteria when a colleague says to him, “I heard your boss talking about your report this morning at the marketing meeting. He used your outline to show how the product roll-out would look. Way to go, fella!”
Of course, the boss could have just told you it was a good report, but I don’t think it would have had near the impact as knowing it had been bruited about the office.
- It wasn’t just a generalized ‘atta boy!’ of “feel-good” encouragement
- It wasn’t just a softly spoken private recognition between the two of you
It was out front, public declaration of your value. Just knowing that others heard it without it coming from you or being directed at you in front of others validates the integrity of the praise.
People are talking! Ain’t it sweet!?
Try it out yourself. Praise someone behind their back and see what happens. We are talking about backward gossip, aren’t we? I wish ‘pissog’ made a prettier word.
If you want to learn more about how Dr. Fleming can help you improve your communication skills, please call her at telephone 415.391.9179 or send her an email at [email protected]
Carol Fleming, Ph.D., is the author of “It’s the Way You Say It: Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear”. A comprehensive guide to vocal development and improvement of communication skills. To get your own copy, go to http://amzn.to/ItsTheWayYouSayIt
Words demonstrate your respect for your job. So talk like it matters.
September 8, 2010 by Admin · Leave a Comment
I walk into a women’s clothing store and ask the sales woman if she has a red turtleneck sweater in a size 8. She responds in one of the following ways:
1. Everything left is on that table over there. Look for yourself.
2. You should have come in two weeks ago; they’re almost all gone now.
3. All we got is this one left over, but I think it’s a large.
4. I dunno, probably not. We really got picked over.
5. This is all we got but it’s probably not what you’re looking for.
6. Yes! We have some turtlenecks here; Let’s check for something in red; We do have a size 8 but it’s a lovely jade color; I think it would look great on you; I believe our Walnut Creek store has some, let me call and check the size; Our fall sweaters are on the way; Can I call you when they come in?
ALL OF THE RESPONSES ABOVE WOULD HAVE BEEN ACCURATE AND HONEST STATEMENTS OF FACT.
The salesperson has a choice as to how to represent the merchandise and the store. Look at the wide range evident in the examples above. Notice especially that you will be communicating your respect for the garment and your own role by how you select your response.
Let’s ask some questions
Questions to the:
- Customer: which of the responses above would you prefer to get? Would it influence how fast you exit the store? Or return?
- Retail owner: how do you want your clerks to handle the sales relationship? How does the clerk show respect for your merchandise and enthusiasm to help the customer? Is this important to you?
- Clerk: (responses 1-5) Where did you get the idea that dismissive language, slacker attitude and lack of customer service is worth even the minimum wage? On the other hand, (responses 6) if you tend to respond with the accommodating, “yes!”, do you work at Nordstrom? Thought so.
It matters how you talk; how you select your words demonstrates your respect for your job. So talk like it matters.
If you want to learn more about how Dr. Fleming can help you improve your communication skills, please call her at telephone 415.391.9179 or send her an email at [email protected]
Carol Fleming, Ph.D., is the author of “It’s the Way You Say It”! Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear. A comprehensive guide to vocal development and improvement of communication skills. To get your own copy, go to http://amzn.to/ItsTheWayYouSayIt
Ten Commandments to Develop Finesse and Diplomacy at Meetings
June 3, 2010 by Admin · Leave a Comment
1. Turn off your phone and electronic devices so that you are fully present to the group. There is much to be learned through attentive listening and observation. You can arrange for hourly ‘recesses’ to attend to other pressing business.
2. Pause before you begin to speak. Collect your thoughts and discipline your tongue. Blurting and babble are way beneath your ability and status. Treat your own words as if they were valuable; gold coins, not theater pop-corn.
3. Anticipate probable objections and questions. To be caught by surprise or to be put on the defensive is uncomfortable and makes you lose your cool.
4. Start with the bottom line –the core message of your report – whenever you can. The more senior the audience, the more important it is to be mindful of their time and attention span. Don’t ever make them wait for you to get to the point. They may not.
5. Prepare a preliminary statement or story that demonstrates the background of your material so people understand the relevance of your information. Group members come from differing backgrounds and diverse interest and may need some help in getting properly oriented to understand your contribution.
6. Make an effort to be heard by the whole group. Speak out so that the person farther away can hear you. Since your voice goes where your eyes go, this means you should be making eye contact with these people.
7. Say, “I don’t know” when necessary and say what you will do to find out. Make no pretense to be a ‘know-it-all’. None of us do.
8. Be sensitive about any “Surprise Bombs” –unexpected news, good or bad – and give your superiors a heads-up. Their support will be valuable to you, and they really don’t want to be caught off guard?
9. Sit quietly and pay attention. Do not take assiduous notes or otherwise act like the secretary of the group. Be a fully invested participant. Don’t fiddle with your pencil, play with your pearls or look otherwise disengaged. Try to make some kind of contribution to the discussion.
10. Be respectful at all times. But watch out for ‘Nice” (too much smiling, nodding and deference). Your Leadership role is to assume authority and move the agenda. You will grow in finesse and diplomacy if you watch skilled group communicators deal with difficult situations and people (see #1 above).
If you want to learn more about how Dr. Fleming can help you improve your communication skills, please call her at telephone 415.391.9179 or send her an email at [email protected]
Carol Fleming, Ph.D., is the author of “It’s the Way You Say It”! Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear. Her book is a comprehensive guide to vocal development and improvement of communication skills, for people who want to learn how to speak better.
Make a Memorable Self-Introduction
May 20, 2010 by Admin · Leave a Comment
You have an opportunity to introduce yourself to a business group. This is a chance to make your mark so that people will remember you and know how to use your services.
- Think carefully about what you will say
- People will want to be able to hear your name clearly. If your name is foreign or at all unusual, be sure and give it more time and emphasis. It is a good idea to repeat your name at the end of your introduction.
- Tell them what you can do for them.’. Say, ‘I specialize in small business loans’. Announce the benefits of your work, not the descriptive features
2. Position yourself in the room for maximum exposure and comfort for your introduction.
- Sit in a spot so that it is easy for you to rise in front of the group
- Be mindful of cutlery and napkins, purses, etc. so your rising is not marred by stupid accidents.
- Avoid being in front of window/lighting fixture glare so people can see your face comfortably.
- Be willing to move to another spot to speak if it improves the odds of people hearing/seeing you.
3. Speak out to the people farthest away – your voice will go where your eyes go.
- You must speak slower than normal when in larger, noisy spaces
- Compensate for noise with more breath support and effort
- If people cannot hear your message clearly you have wasted your and their time. Be determined not to let this happen.
Perhaps it will help you remember the three points above if you use the following sequence:
On your mark! (and what, exactly, is your mark?)
Get set (as in where you are set in the space.)
Go! (Let your voice go out to the whole room.)
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Carol Fleming, Ph.D., is the author of “It’s the Way You Say It”! Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear. A comprehensive guide to vocal development and improvement of communication skills. For people who want to make their speaking more impressive.
If you want to learn more about how Dr. Fleming can help you improve your communication skills, please call her at telephone 415.391.9179 or send her an email at [email protected]
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